


The Adventure of Kyosuke Munakata and Zombie Juzo

by hunterofcomedy



Category: Dangan Ronpa, Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa 3: The End of 希望ヶ峰学園 | The End of Kibougamine Gakuen | End of Hope's Peak High School
Genre: Brains, Comedy, Crack Fic, F/M, Ghosts, M/M, Plot Twists, Tacos, Zombies, fisting jokes, giant zombie final boss, little bit of drama, neck breaking, parasol - Freeform, plot holes, self-promotion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-09
Updated: 2016-12-09
Packaged: 2018-09-07 11:30:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8799202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hunterofcomedy/pseuds/hunterofcomedy
Summary: Everyone thought that, after the Final Killing Game at Future Foundation HQ, the world would slowly return to peace…no one accounted for a zombie infestation!





	

6 Months After _Side: Hope_

\---

“Sakakura! This way! They’re gathering in the south!”

Kyosuke Munakata, former Future Foundation 2nd Branch-Head or as he was more commonly known now ‘The One-Eyed Samurai’, raced through the streets of the deserted Krimson City. Well, it wasn’t really deserted, considering it was infested with flesh eating zombies, but with his ‘Flame-Blaze Katana’ and its superheated blade, he would ensure it became truly deserted!

“Gimme a sec! I gotta deal with a few annoying pests!”

Zombie Juzo Sakakura shouted, rearing back his fist, and slamming it into a zombie’s face, the force practically exploding the undead creature’s head. Zombie Juzo’s skin was a sickly green color but such was the side effect of zombification. A few hours after his death in the Final Killing Game, he had awoken to discover he had no heartbeat and was, in fact, undead. Unlike most zombie’s, however, he retained his mind and therefore became qualified to deal with the newfound undead threat. After all, you can’t turn into a zombie twice!

The former boxer continued to ram his fist deep inside the squish innards of the zombies, his punches magnified by the notion that his brain’s strength limiters were gone. He could bench press a bus if he wanted…which he didn’t but totally would if it would impress a certain white haired One-Eyed Samurai.

As he continued to paint the pavement with zombie bits, he heard Munakata’s voice call to him.

“Sakakura! I could really use a hand over here!” the One-Eyed Samurai shouted, slicing through wave after wave of undead creatures.

“Seriously, man?!” Zombie Juzo replied with a hint of distain.

Confused by his friend’s attitude, Munakata glanced over his shoulder to see Zombie Juzo pointing to the stub where his left hand used to be, a dejected expression on the zombie boxer’s face.

“…Too soon,” Munakata said aloud, realizing his mistake.

Unfortunately, as he was distracted by his friend’s displeasure, more zombies slowly snuck up on him. Just as one of them drew near, teeth poised to sink into Munakata’s warm living flesh, a fist flew forward and smashed the unsuspecting zombie in the face, splattering its undead brains all around.

Munakata’s gaze shot back to his situation and sighed. Floating just in front of him, clenched and ready for beating, was the dismember left hand of Juzo Sakakura, nicknamed “Fisty”.

Without waiting for acknowledgement, Fisty flew forward, slamming into a row of three zombies, blasting completely through all of them. The sentient fist then poked out the eyes of another zombie before bitch-slapping it so hard it flew into a nearby building. Not finished, Fisty flew high up into the air, angled itself downward, and proceeded to slam itself into the concrete, sending a massive shockwave so powerful it disintegrated most nearby zombies.

Watching the spectacle from afar, Munakata and Zombie Juzo waited for the dismembered fist to tire itself out.

“Remind me again how your left hand grew sentiency…” Munakata pondered.

“Off-screen. Now let’s go! I can’t let him have all the fun!” Juzo screamed and sped into the fray.

Chuckling, Munakata was about to race after them when a bright light appeared behind him. Spinning around, he readied his blade for a moment but quickly lowered it. A warm smile spread over Munakata’s lips as the light slowly took a familiar form.

“Hey there, Kyosuke! Miss me?” the voice of Chisa Yukizome resounded, the visage of the former housekeeper coming into view.

Being a ghost, she was completely transparent and floated above Munakata’s head, forcing him to look up at her, which Ghost Chisa secretly reveled in. Not long after the Final Killing Game, she had appeared to both Munakata and Zombie Juzo, mainly to convince the One-Eyed Samurai not to kill his zombified best friend. Having never encountered zombies before, at first Munakata had decided ‘they all must die’ and was prepared to execute his undead best friend to prove his resolve. That was when Ghost Chisa had appeared and told him that Zombie Juzo’s…feelings, had kept him from turning into a full zombie.

…Yes, the power of love created Zombie Juzo! Get over it!

After that, there was a tearful reunion but that’s kind of boring so we’re gonna skip ahead.

Ghost Chisa told them that she had no idea how zombies were being created but she would look into it. When asked how, all she said was, “Oh, we have a movie theatre.” Although both Munakata and Zombie Juzo wanted to question her about that, she disappeared before they could ask. Ever since, Munakata and Zombie Juzo had traveled the world, eradicating zombie threats while the Future Foundation continued to battle despair…by building a school for some reason.

Now that the exposition is out of the way, let’s get back to the important bits…

“Always,” Munakata said softly, pleased to see her again. “What have you discovered?”

Ghost Chisa pouted a bit, “Aww come on! I don’t see you for like six months and _that’s_ all you have to say?! You could at least call me—”.

“Chisa…” Munakata interrupted, his voice calm and soothing. “We’re kind of in the middle of a zombie attack,” he pointed to Zombie Juzo and Fisty destroying a mob of flesh eating undead. “We can explore Spectrophilia later. For now, we need information.”

Beaming at being called by her first name, Ghost Chisa happily nodded and said, “Don’t worry, the theatre was playing ‘Ghost’ not long ago…how hard do you think it would be to get a pottery wheel—?”.

“Chisa, stay on task.”

“Right!” Ghost Chisa stopped herself, clearing her throat at the same time. “So, the zombies are created from a virus spread by an evil corporation called ‘Parasol’. I thought that Umbrella would have been a better name but that’s just me. Anyway, after the world ended during the Most Despair-Inducing Incident in the History of Mankind, they poisoned the water supply and everyone who drank it got infected.”

“Hmm, but then why did none of us, except for Juzo, turn into zombies?” Munakata wondered.

“Plot hole.”

“Ah, that makes sense…”

“Yeah,” Ghost Chisa continued, “Can’t have more abominations like Zombie Juzo floating around—”.

“I heard that!!” Zombie Juzo shouted, throwing a zombie at Ghost Chisa’s transparent form, which of course passed through her, making her grin at him.

“Oh, hey Juzo! You and Fisty took care of all the zom-zoms. Good for you!”

Just as she said, all of the zombies had been wiped out, leaving Munakata alone with his zombie best friend, a floating dismembered hand, and a ghost girl. That’s when all hell broke loose…kinda.

“Yukizome! What’s the big idea distracting Munakata during a battle?! Do you _want_ him to end up bitten or dismembered?!” Zombie Juzo angrily shouted at the ghost.

“Hey! Kyosuke can take care of himself just fine! He’s not gonna get himself killed and turned into a pathetic zombie…unlike _someone_ we know!” Ghost Chisa retorted, folding her arms over her chest.

Clenching his undead fist, Juzo shouted, “Oh, no you didn’t—!”

Leering at him, Chisa interrupted, “Oh, yes I did!”

Suddenly, a furious amount of snapping startled them. They both turned to see Fisty, continually snapping its fingers to get their attention. Once they both gazed at it, the disembodied hand pointed from one to the other before making a fist and shaking it at them…as if scolding them.

“Fisty is right, both of you need to behave yourselves,” Munakata agreed, somehow able to understand the dismembered hand. “Anyway, Chisa. Please continued, did you managed to find…The Source?”

Pouting a bit at being scolded, Ghost Chisa quickly returned to her usual self as she answered, “The Source…the thing that’s attracting zombies here from all over the world…Well, I managed to find _where_ it is, but I can’t see _what_ it is. For some reason, the theatre can only show the building itself…a ‘Taco Ball’ fast-food restaurant.”

“…I see. There must be something hidden there. Can you tell us anything else?” Munakata asked.

“Well…it’s kind of embarrassing but…” Ghost Chisa hesitated for a moment, grimacing all the while. “For some reason, whenever _I_ try to see what The Source is, the theatre won’t show me! But when _Junko_ uses it, she can see it clearly! But she’s not telling me what—!”.

“H-Hold on a sec! Did you say ‘Junko’?! As in ‘Junko Enoshima – the Ultimate Despair’?!” Zombie Juzo practically screeched.

Giving him a puzzled look, Ghost Chisa answered, “Hmm? Yeah. She lives with me in the theatre…like the world’s worst house-guest. Well, ‘live’ is a relative term but I think you understand—”.

“WHAT THE FUCK?!” Zombie Juzo shouted, utterly confused. “You mean you have to share an afterlife with that crazy bitch—?!”

“Tote Mcscrotes!” an eerily familiar voice suddenly echoed. A bright flash of light erupted just behind the three of them, revealing a very transparent Ghost Junko. Immediately after appearing, she sang, “I’m a bitch, I’m a bitch, oh the bitch is back! Stone cold _dead_ as a matter of fact!”

Ghost Junko cackled as the three of them were subject to her horrible rendition of Elton John’s prized singles. However, she must have gotten bored because she suddenly stopped singing and started looking around, raising an eyebrow at the zombie pieces still lying around.

“Holy shit, there really were zombies! I didn’t even plan for those! This is awesome!” Ghost Junko cheered before getting a good look at Zombie Juzo, who glared at her with utter rage. After one look, she shrugged and said, “Aww, don’t be like that. I know!” She raised both of her transparent hands up and said, “High-ten! Oh, wait…you’re an ‘unarmed’ zombie! HA! That one never gets old…”  

“You little bitch!!” Zombie Juzo screamed, charging her. However, as expected his fist went clear through her, the former fashionista cheekily laughing all the while.

“Upupupupupupu! This is just too fun! I’ve gotta start haunting the you two more often! Being a ghost is fuckin’ sweet!”

“Is it now…?” Ghost Chisa said, abruptly appearing behind Ghost Junko, making the fashionista flinch.

Using both hands, Ghost Chisa twisted Ghost Junko’s head completely around, a ghostly snapping noise echoing. Surprised by the sudden change of perspective, Ghost Junko shrieked, waving her arms in a disoriented fashion. She tried to use her own arms to fix her backward facing head but she didn’t seem to have the strength.

Smirking, Ghost Chisa jeered, “That’s what you get for leaving popcorn all over the theatre floor! You live there too! Clean up after yourself for once!”

“Hey, I’m not the one whose ultimate talent sets women’s role in society back a few centuries…” Ghost Junko sneered, still unable to turn her head back around. After a few more attempts, Ghost Junko apparently gave up trying…letting her arms fall to her side. “Dammit…this isn’t despairing enough to get me excited…it’s just annoying!”

“HA! That’s what you get bitch!” Zombie Juzo jeered. “Karma’s finally coming back around—”.

“Yeah well, at least my dick isn’t decaying…” Ghost Junko effortlessly retorted, not bothering to look his way. “Or has it already fallen off? You zombie types are so fragile…”

“Hey! Say that to my face, bitch!” Zombie Juzo demanded, angrily shaking his fist at her.

“I would but I’m all turn around right now…” Ghost Junko snidely remarked.

Watching the spectacle from afar, Munakata sighed and Fisty drooped, as if to sigh with him. Glancing to the sentient fist, the One-Eyed Samurai’s gaze softened as he said, “You’re the only one I can truly rely on…”

Giving him a thumbs up in reply, Munakata smirked before fixating a stern gaze toward the others.

“Junko Enoshima…” the One-Eyed Samurai called out, getting the twisted ghost girl’s attention. “Is it true that you had no hand in all of this?”

“Dude, seriously!” Zombie Juzo complained, again pointing to his stub of a left arm.

“Technically you never lost it. Isn’t that right, Fisty?” Ghost Chisa said, smiling at Fisty, who waved at everyone, to Zombie Juzo’s displeasure.

Turning her back to him, so she could actually look at him, Ghost Junko answered, “Nope, not me this time. Zombies are too generic and _everyone_ was practically waiting for it to happen! Seriously, doomsday preppers are more anal than I am about this end of the world shit! Ironically, it would have created more hope than despair, so I didn’t even bother considering it.”

“I see,” Munakata said, walking forward and passing right through her, so that he could stand in front of Ghost Chisa. “Great work, Chisa. Sakakura and I can take it from here.”

Even though it should be impossible, because ghost, Ghost Chisa somehow managed to blush at his words of praise. “Hey, no problem! Go get ‘em tiger!”

Munakata smiled up at her, and she smiled back, the connection between them—

“Yeah, okay, I’m gonna go before the author gets all sentimental and crap!” Ghost Junko proclaimed, cutting off the heartwarming scene that was going to be beautifully executed by the amazingly talented and spectacular author who has absolutely no ego problem. “I’m gonna go masturbate all over the theatre’s floors now! Laters!”

In a flash, Ghost Junko disappeared, presumably to do exactly as she’d proclaimed.

“Again?!” Ghost Chisa shouted, frantically looking around with an expression of horror on her face. “That little bitch! Sorry, Kyosuke, looks like I have a spill to clean up! Bye!”

As with the previous entity, Ghost Chisa disappeared in a flash of light, leaving Munakata, Zombie Juzo and Fisty alone to continue their task.

“We should get going…” Munakata said swiftly.

“To avoid talking about what we just heard?” Zombie Juzo asked.

“Precisely…” the One-Eyed Samurai said, already heading out. “Fisty, scout ahead!”

Zombie Juzo let Munakata and his disembodied hand go on ahead of him, smiling as he snuck a glance at Munakata’s fine ‘assets’. Before he could enjoy it, however, a flash appeared behind him, accompanied by a stern warning.

“Don’t think that just because you’ve still got a physical body you can faun over Kyosuke like that!” Ghost Chisa warned her old friend, her voice frightfully deep and menacing.

“Yeah, yeah, I got it,” Zombie Juzo melancholically replied. “It doesn’t matter anyway. I know I don’t stand a chance. After all…he still calls your name out in his sleep every night.”

“I know…” Ghost Chisa said, a hint of guilt in her voice for a brief moment before she told him, “That’s because I visit him every night in his dreams.”

Zombie Juzo’s jaw dropped as he stared at her. “You WHAT?!

“Let’s just say he’s not calling my name because he misses me…” Ghost Chisa admitted, again finding a way to blush despite ghost physics.

“So _you’re_ the reason he needs to change clothes everyday!” Zombie Juzo screamed angrily. “I thought it was just a hygiene thing but it’s actually because of you!”

With a smirk, Ghost Chisa continued, “Seems that way.”

“That’s not fair!” Zombie Juzo protested.

“Of course it is,” Ghost Chisa insisted, hands on her hips. “I don’t have a physical body anymore. So dreams are fair game!”

Suppressing his rage, Zombie Juzo let a malicious smirk overtake his lips as he said, “Oh yeah? Well, you know, as a zombie, I don’t have to sleep anymore. So, I can stay up all night, ‘watching over’ him. Looking at his beautiful face…wanting to go down on him and swallow him whole—”.

“No! Bad Juzo!” Ghost Chisa scolded, getting right in his face, and making Zombie Juzo very aware of what he’d just admitted. Scowling at him, the former housekeeper continued, “I know you’re a zombie and you want brains now, but Kyosuke’s brains are off limits! You hear me!”

“Yes! B-Brains! That’s exactly what I meant…and nothing else…” Zombie Juzo immediately retorted, relieved for his friend’s ineptitude. “Anyway, you shouldn’t mess with his dreams like that! It’s not fair to him!”

Pondering what he said, Ghost Chisa frowned. “But it’s also unfair of you to get to stare at him all night…”

“Perks of being alive…undead…whatever!” Zombie Juzo insisted.

“And dream sex is supposed to be a perk of being a ghost!” Ghost Chisa argued. Just then, an idea popped into Ghost Chisa’s transparent head. “Well, at least Kyosuke calls me by my given name…”

That shut Zombie Juzo right up, knowing that Munakata still preferred to refer to him by his family name. It was a low blow, but one that not even he could deny was true.

“Yeah…so what?” a dejected Zombie Juzo questioned.

“How about this…?” Ghost Chisa began, floating down to be eye level with him. “If you can get Kyosuke to call you Juzo-kun before this mission is over, then I’ll stop rocking his dream world every night and switch to every weekend. That way, you can gaze at him all week and I can have him for the weekend, beginning Friday night of course. Doesn’t that sound great! It’ll be like joint custody, except with Kyosuke’s body instead of a small child.”

“Deal.”

“Now don’t be like that—wait what?”

Nodding firmly to her, Zombie Juzo answered, “I said, ‘Deal’. I’ll get him to call me by my first name if it kills me!”

“Zombie…”

Remembering his situation, Zombie Juzo grunted and continued, “Fine then, I’ll make it happen even if it kills me again—!”

“No, I mean there’s more zombies. Go help Kyosuke.”

Whipping around, Zombie Juzo found Munakata and Fisty in the midst of a zombie attack. Without hesitation, the zombified boxer sped toward them, sending zombies flying in all directions as he charged through. As he sped off to assist his best friend, and his disembodied hand, Ghost Junko abruptly materialized next to Ghost Chisa, the despair loving ghost’s head still turned backward.

“So…wanna bet on how bad he fucks up this?” Ghost Junko proposed, smiling wickedly. “Personally, I think he gonna choke…and not in the way he wants.”

“I’ll take that bet…” Ghost Chisa replied, “I think he might be able to do it…and I wouldn’t mind sharing Kyosuke a bit…a tiny bit. Also…whoever wins has to clean the theatre for the rest of eternity.”

“…You’re on!”

* * *

 

**A few hours later…**

“No way! They’re already expecting a kid?!” Zombie Juzo shouted as he smashed in another zombie head.

“Indeed. We received an invitation to Kyoko Kirigiri’s baby shower…Fisty crocheted a baby blanket for them,” Munakata continued, slicing apart another zombie while Fisty bashfully swayed from side to side.  “I heard the wedding was splendid as well.”

“I swear, that Naegi kid’s some kind of monster! I mean, seriously! Not only did his luck practically revive the woman he loves, she gets knocked up after only a few months!” Zombie Juzo vented as he crushed a zombie’s skull in his hand.

“Agreed… Makoto Naegi’s luck is fearsome,” Munakata concurred, slicing three zombies with a single swipe of his sword.

“So, that little prick Byakuya runs the Future Foundation now?” Zombie Juzo asked, kicking away a zombie that he’d smashed his boot through the ribcage of.

“So it seems, with Aoi Asahina working at this new Hope’s Peak school,” Munakata told him, flicking his wrist and slicing another wave of zombies to pieces. “I wish that Toko Fukawa’s serial killer persona were here right now…it would make this so much less taxing.”

“Yeah, but aren’t she and Naegi’s kid sister off on some tropical island or something?” Zombie Juzo questioned, punting a zombie into space with little effort.

“Taking a long overdue vacation, or so I heard,” Munakata replied, letting Fisty dispatch a few zombies while he caught his breath.

“And whatever happened to that…uh, I forget his name…the fortune teller guy?” Zombie Juzo pondered, not really concerned.

“…Who?” Munakata asked as they rounded a corner and could finally see their destination. “There! I can see it!”

The One-Eyed Samurai, Kyosuke Munakata, and his allies Fisty and Zombie Juzo finally had Taco Ball within sight. After many awesome off-screen battles, vigorous direction finding involving a faulty GPS, and the occasional tea break, the three battle hardened warriors stood less than a hundred yards from their goal.

Unfortunately…there was a final obstacle to conquer, standing between them and the restaurant.

“Holy shit that guy’s big!” Zombie Juzo shouted, gritting his teeth at a 20-foot-tall giant zombie wielding a massive club…because no giant zombie is completely without a blunt weapon.

“Nothing we can’t handle!” Munakata assured him, fist bumping Fisty as they all prepared for battle. “With the three of us, he shall fall easily!”

“ _Now’s my chance!_ ” Zombie Juzo thought as he stared down the massive zombie. “ _If I can take this bastard out by myself, then surely Munakata will—oh, what the flying fuck?!_ ”

In the middle of his thought, Fisty charged the giant zombie. Honestly, it wasn’t all that surprising that Fisty had the same thought of impressing Munakata. After all, it used to be Zombie Juzo’s ‘special time’ hand. However, Fisty was overeager and would come to regret this decision.

“No, Fisty! Don’t be a hero!!” Munakata shouted, holding out his hand as he saw the fatal error his companion was making.

Sadly, his cry fell on no ears, as the fist didn’t have ears, and so Fisty flew toward the final boss type zombie, clenched and prepared to thrust inside the sticky entrails of its enemy. And that was when, just as Munakata had feared, the giant zombie leaned forward and opened its mouth…swallowing Fisty whole!

“FISTY!!! NO!!!!!”

With an overexaggerated gulp, the giant zombie swallowed their handy companion. Munakata grimaced as their friend was lost to the massive gullet of the giant zombie. Gritting his teeth angrily, he grabbed the hilt of his Flame-Blaze Katana, superheating the blade as he charged.

However, in his rage, he failed to see the giant zombie’s massive club raised high before being swung directly at him. Realizing it was too late to move, Munakata prepared to take the blow…knowing he wouldn’t survive.

But then…just before the strike could land!

“KYOSUKE!!!”

Munakata felt something push him aside, making him fall to the ground. Glancing up, he saw Zombie Juzo standing over him, having knocked him aside just in time. Unfortunately, this meant that the former boxer had no time to dodge himself, taking the blow meant for his best friend.

The massive club swung hard and sent Zombie Juzo flying into a nearby building, the structure crumbling from the impact. A huge cloud of dust, which always appears after a building collapses, rose up, obscuring the One-Eyed Samurai’s vision.

Shooting to his feet, Munakata shouted, “Sakakura! Are you alright?!”

Before he heard a reply, his eyes widened as the dust settled. Zombie Juzo lay on the ground, surrounded by rubble, his body mangled, though from being a zombie or the attack was unclear. And though it appeared that Zombie Juzo was unconscious, he still appeared rather pained…which was odd considering zombies can’t feel pain.

In either case, it made Munakata’s blood boil. Grasping his blade tightly, he slowly turned to face his foe, not willing to make any more mistakes.

“You…” he seethed, glaring his one eye at the giant zombie. “First…you take Fisty…and now you try to take my best friend from me! You will feel my wrath!”

In a flash, Munakata dashed forward. Before the massive zombie can even react, the One-Eyed Samurai sliced upward, severing the giant’s left leg. As it fell to its knees, Munakata leapt up, running up its side while dragging his superheated blade long it’s left arm, slicing it clean in two. Finally, as the zombie turned its gigantic head toward him, the superheated blade cut across the zombie’s face, cleaving the top of its head clean off!

With a typical zombie groan, the giant zombie collapsed to the ground…defeated.

Leaping off the corpse of his slain foe, Munakata wasted no time, dashing to Zombie Juzo’s side. A large piece of rubble pressed down onto the former boxer’s legs into the ground, meaning it would be impossible to move him right now.

“Sakakura! Sakakura! Can you hear me?!” he shouted, pulling his companion up to a seated position.

Again, against the laws of zombie physics, Zombie Juzo grunted in pain(?) before glancing at his friend.

“K-Kyosuke…? Are you…alright?” he said slowly…with pained(?) breaths.

Breathing a sigh of relief, Munakata replied, “Indeed, thanks to you I am.”

Just then, Zombie Juzo coughed, again odd behavior for a zombie, and weakly said, “I…don’t think…I’m gonna make it…”

“Really?” Munakata pondered, clearly understanding zombie physics. “You seem like you’re going to be just fine…relatively speaking. I mean, unless your brain or your heart is destroyed, you should be alright—”

“I’m…not sure…about all that…but I do…have…one last…request…just in case…” Zombie Juzo said though staggered breaths, that he didn’t need to take because zombies don’t breathe.

Even with the suspicious behavior, Munakata couldn’t bring himself to refuse. “Alright then. Whatever your request is…I will do my best to fulfill it!”

“K-Kyosuke…I would like to…hear you…say—HOLY CRAP THE GIANT ZOMBIE’S NOT DEAD!!!”

“Bit of a strange request but, I think I can managed to say that—”.

“NO, I MEAN YOU DIDN’T KILL IT ENOUGH!! LOOK!!”

Snapping his head around, Kyosuke Munakata clicked his teeth as the giant zombie had indeed stood back up, headless but still moving. As it lumbered toward them, the two men found themselves surrounded by another wave of zombies, meaning there was no way for them to retreat.

“Dammit! What the hell do we do now?!” Zombie Juzo said, still unable to get up due to rubble holding him down.

“We fight…until the end!” Munakata shouted, reaching for his sword and preparing for another desperate battle.

“Dammit! I just wanted you to call me by my first name!” Zombie Juzo admitted, feeling ashamed that his actions had led to this. “Kyosuke! Get the hell out of here! I’m not going anywhere, but you can still—”.

“We have already lost a part of you to this monster…I refuse to lose the rest of you as well!” Munakata interrupted, silencing his friend. “If we meet our end…it will be here…together.”

“K-Kyosuke…” Zombie Juzo whispered, his zombie heart a flutter because boners (do not make me explain how zombie boners work…maybe because he’s already stiff?).

“And then,” Munakata suddenly continued, “We can meet Chisa again as ghosts and—”.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake!” Zombie Juzo whispered, disappointed. 

“—and we’ll be together…forev—”.

In the middle of his speech, the giant zombie suddenly lurched, surprising both of the men. The massive zombie then arched it’s back, groaning loudly before it suddenly exploded from the inside. Rotting bits of zombie flesh flew in all directions, miraculously none of them hit either Munakata or Zombie Juzo.

And there, floating in all its glory…was there third companion!

“FISTY!” Munakata joyfully shouted, pleased to see their handy companion again.

Without any hesitation, Fisty flew toward the two of them, and proceeded to smash the rubble pinning Zombie Juzo to the ground. Letting Munakata help him up, the three brave warriors faced the zombie horde together.

“Let’s finish this quickly,” Munakata told them, readying his blade.

“You got it!” Zombie Juzo told him, lifting his right hand up.

Fisty cracked its own knuckled with a tight clench in response, signaling it was ready for battle as well.

An epic battle ensued…one that would take far too long to write. Let’s just say it was awesome!

* * *

 

Once it was all over, and nothing but zombie guts remained, the three brave warrior made their way inside Taco Ball. And there…they found…The Source…!

“A plate of moldy tacos! That’s what’s been drawing zombies here from all across the world!” Zombie Juzo complain before finding that he was already reaching out for the platter.

Luckily, Fisty gripped his wrist and stopped him.

“Holy crap…what came over me?!” Zombie Juzo shouted, still glancing at the place. “Oh God…you mean these are—?!”

“Brain Tacos…just as I suspected…” Munakata answered, pushing past his best friend but not before nodding to the sentient fist holding Zombie Juzo back. “Nice work, Fisty. If you hadn’t stopped him, Sakakura might have actually eaten one of those disgusting things.”

Readying his blade, Munakata sliced downward and disintegrating the entire plate. “We are done here…it’s time for the next mission. Let’s go…Juzo.”

Zombie Juzo gasped and stared at his best friend before stuttering, “K-Kyosuke…you just called me…”

“Indeed, I did. Don’t let it go to your head. Now, let’s get moving…”

Without another word, Munakata departed out the door. At the same time, Fisty finally released a stunned Zombie Juzo and floated off after the One-Eyed Samurai. Once the two of them were gone, a bright flash indicated the arrival of a certain former housekeeper.

“Congrats, Juzo…you win.”

Turning around, the zombie boxer was about to rub his victory in her face when he saw Ghost Chisa smiling at him. Even though she was his rival, there was no way Zombie Juzo could stay angry at her, especially when she made Munakata so happy…if only in his wet dreams.

“So…joint custody of his body?” Zombie Juzo offered, holding his hand out.

“Joint custody of his body…” Ghost Chisa answered, her hand fazing through his as she pretended to shake his hand.

“Actually, you both lose!!!”

Another bright light flashed and there floated Ghost Junko, her head back on straight, grinning maliciously at them.

“W-Wait, we both lose?! How does that work?!” Ghost Chisa protested.

“Yeah! We both technically won!” Zombie Juzo insisted.

With a cheeky grin, Ghost Junko explained, “You said, and I quote ‘get Kyosuke to call you Juzo… _kun_!’ I didn’t hear no honorific at the end of your name zombie boy! So…you both lose and I win the bet!”

Looks of pure horror overtook both Zombie Juzo and Ghost Chisa as that reality set in.

“It may not be that despair-inducing, but I’ll take it!” Ghost Junko shouted with glee. “Have fun scrubbing the floor of the theatre after I’m done with them…Miss Housekeeper!”

With a despairing cackle, Ghost Junko disappeared in another flash of light. Slowly, Zombie Juzo and Ghost Chisa glanced to each other and nodded firmly.

“Screw the bet and joint custody anyway?” Ghost Chisa proposed.

“Sounds good. Now, go snap that bitches neck again!” Zombie Juzo enthusiastically encourage.

“Can do!” Ghost Chisa shouted before disappearing in a flash of light.

Zombie Juzo smiled to himself as he exited the fast-food restaurant, seeing that Munakata and Fisty were waiting for him outside. A warm smile spread over his cold zombie lips as he approached, feeling that all was right in the world.

“So…what are we going to do tomorrow, Kyosuke?” Zombie Juzo thoughtfully asked.

With a raised eyebrow and a look at his watch, Kyosuke Munakata plainly answered, “Nothing…the story’s over…”

Confused, Zombie Juzo stammered, “W-What?! They can’t just end our adventure in the middle of—”.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

* * *

 

**THE END!!**

**Author's Note:**

> Greetings, my beautiful readers! Now, I know this story came out of nowhere but I can explain! You see, while working on another one-shot I recently posted, ‘Loss’, my beta and I wondered exactly what Munakata would do after DR3. I asserted that he would go and become a badass zombie slayer…and the rest just kind of fell into place. 
> 
> By the way, I need to point out that zombification is a real word…my computer recognized it…that’s kind of scary. Anyway, I had a blast writing this and I certainly hope that all of you enjoyed it! I should have more stuff for you all soon, so enjoy the holiday season and I will see you all soon! 
> 
> Please leave a comment/review to tell me what you thought of the story, or to provide ideas of your own I should have included! This was my first crack fic, but I think I did pretty well!
> 
> Thank you all once again and have a great day, my beautiful readers!


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